On Second Thought, They Were All Bad (A Nerds Rant)

A year ago this summer the world saw the third installment of the live-action Spider-man movies hit the movie theaters world-wide, with an unprecedented hype machine working for it, Spider-man 3 was supposed to be the ultimate superhero movie. Long story short; it wasn't. By any stretch of the imagination.

Now I find myself immersed in plenty of new and old Spidey reference material through my local book and comic stores, and I have to say all three movies could have been so much better.

The character of Spider-man is the wise-cracking jester of the Marvel universe. Spidey is also a pretty smart arachnid. In the comics he creates his web-shooters, he figures out how to defeat his opponents with his wits, not his brawn, or by complete happenstance-as seen in all three movies. The Sam Raimi directed Spider-man films have grossed well over $1 billion globally. But if you dig into what Raimi is actually putting on his scripts and transferring to the screen you may see things a bit differently.

First- Raimi's magnum opus prior to the Spider-man series was the Evil Dead trilogy. A series that was originally premised as a horror franchise that quickly became a comedy/thriller (loose terminology on "thriller.") Raimi-much like Tim Burton- is unwilling to evolve his shooting style, which is very evident in Spider-man 2 when Doctor Octopus' (Alfred Molina) grafted extremities kill the doctors preparing for his autopsy. The camera movements and cuts are almost precisely the same as a scene in Evil Dead 2.

You can argue that it was an homage to his earlier work, blah, blah, blah. But why does he have to give himself an homage? Why does the "birth of Doc Ock" have to come with a scene from Evil Dead? Why not create something new?

Throughout the movie series there seems to be one constant thing with the character of Spider-man: he's a mute!

Part of the tactics employed by the comic version of Spider-man is to aggravate his foe to the point where they will make a costly mistake. In the movies? Spider-man never does anything to the opposition, they set up a trap and it backfires due to either his "spider sense" (ala spidey 1,) a revelation by the villain (spidey 2,) or just accepting an apology (Sandman in the third film.) So it would seem the only villain who was actually defeated was Venom (who was not actually even named in the film) and how is Venom defeated? By a bomb that Harry brought with him on his flying snowboard.

Now let's divulge ourselves a little deeper into the psyche of the movie villains. Most obviously with all of the villains in Raimi's Spider-man films is the idea that they all should be personally connected to Peter somehow.

First The Green Goblin: Connection- Peter's best friends' father.
The Lowdown: The casting of Willem Defoe as Norman Osborn/GG was excellent. The voice of the Goblin was creepy. As Norman, Defoe made you believe he was a huge jerk. The costume, however, was a total joke.

A genetically enhanced, and mentally torn Norman Osborn who, after having his funding threatened to be pulled by some bias jerk of a military leader was forced to test his formula for strength enhancements in humans on himself. The trials of the serum proved the formula to not be ready for human testing, causing increased aggression and insanity. But in his desperation Osborn tested the serum on himself, thus creating the Green Goblin.

We can't really blame Norman Osborn for wanting to save his company, can we? So is he really a bad guy? Or someone who was pushed to a drastic measure and suffered the consequences of someone else being a d-bag to him?

Next we have
Dr. Otto Octavious/Doctor Octopus: Connection- One of Peter's role models. Peter meets Otto and his wife, Rose, through Harry and really connects with them

The Lowdown: Played by Alfred Molina, who also performed the role very well, but as my good friend Matt has pointed out in his blog (http://anotherdamncomicblog.blogspot.com/2007/09/its-almost-like-its-2004-all-over-again.html) Doc Ock is really at no fault of his own because, for whatever reason, his arms have some artificial intelligence and thanks to a "neural inhibitor" Dr. Octavious is able to manipulate the arms to do his will. But after the accident that grafts the arms to his body, the inhibitor is broken and the arms begin to take control of his mind.

Can Octavious be blamed? I don't think so, he's a grieving widower who only wants to see his life's work completed. Whereas the arms for some reason, as are all artificially intelligent beings apparently, are evil.

It is, nonetheless, in the first meeting between Spider-man and Doc Ock, during a bank robbery, that we get just the second time in the series where Spider-man makes a witty remark by shouting "Here's your change" at the villain while throwing back a bag of... Change. Right!

In the third installment we find Spider-man facing three, maybe four (if you stretch the main "moral" of the movie, which the fourth villain would be Peter, himself) villains the New Goblin/Harry Osborn, the Sandman and Venom/symbiote.

We will discuss this villains in order of appearance

First we have
New Goblin/Harry: Connection- Peter's best friend

The Lowdown:Having discovered Spider-man is actually his best friend, Peter Parker, Harry has had one motive since the first movie: Avenge his father, Norman, by killing Spider-man.

At the end of Spider-man 2 Harry discovered his father's old "Goblin Lair" Harry takes his inheritance and runs with it. Modifying his father's original goblin designs into his own style.

With continuity errors aside (why doesn't the "Goblin Juice" make Harry go insane?) Harry can't be blamed for wanting to avenge his father, can he?

Next we have The Sandman/Flint Marko: Connection- Marko is discovered to be the actual shooter of Peter's Uncle Ben

An escaped convict Marko falls into a particle accelerator full of sand while on the run and is turned into the Sandman (this is probably the best scene from Spider-man 3)

Marko leads a life of crime as a way to get money to help his sick daughter, which makes his life of crime okay.


Finally we have Venom/Eddie Brock/symbiote: The connection- Eddie is a competing photographer with Peter at the Daily Bugle. The symbiote had originally been with Peter, creating the black Spidey costume.

The Lowdown: Venom is created when Peter ditches the symbiote at a church where Eddie Brock is praying for the death of Parker. The symbiote quickly finds itself on Brock, thus creating Venom

Venom is about the only real villain who is being bad, just for the sake of being bad. But he does also have a vendetta against Spider-man/Parker, so he is kind of justified.

The final part of this rant goes towards the casting of the recurring characters and the montages of the films.

Tobey Maguire; a soft spoken actor who does a great job preparing for roles, but could not emote on screen to save his life. As Peter Parker/Spider-man Maguire has found stardom. But this is a hollow victory due to the fact that his stardom is due the fact that he has the role, not his portrayal of Marvel Comics cornerstone character.

Kirsten Dunst; how she landed this role, no one will ever know! Her biggest role before landing this one was when she was 12 years old. Her portrayal of Peter/Spider-man's biggest supporter is a slap in the face to creators Steve Ditko and Stan Lee. The Mary Jane on screen is nothing short of a prima donna, even though she hasn't accomplished anything yet.

James Franco as Harry Osborn is easily the best casting decision to the main cast members of the Spider-man series. He looks like he could be the song of Willem Defoe (aka Norman Osborn) and is a solid actor.

Finally the montages need to end!

The "Rain Drops Keep Falling on My Head" montage in Spider-man 2 was quite funny. But it was pushed to it's limit in the third installment during Peter's "dark phase" with his Saturday Night Fever strut.

All-in-all with a regrading of the Spider-man movies they go from the first installment to the most recent go as such:

Spider-man : C
Spider-man 2: C+
Spider-man 3: D

Baby Mama Review

Grade: B


In 2004 Tina Fey and Amy Poehler became the first all-woman tandem for the Saturday Night Live segment “Weekend Update.” The comedic chemistry between the two made the “Update” segment a highlight during a harsh transition time for the SNL crew. Now, two years after their last segment together, Poehler and Fey reunite in the comedy Baby Mama.

We are first introduced to Kate Holbrook (Fey) explaining how badly she wants a child of her own, scaring away her date.

After being told Kate has been told she has a one-in-a-million chance of conceiving a child through artificial insemination, or natural conception workaholic, Kate decides she has reached the end of her self-dependent road of trying to have a child and reaches out to a surrogacy agency to help her fulfill her maternal desires. Enter Angie (Poehler,) a woman who “knows how to get pregnant” as she casually blurts out in her first meeting with Kate.

Much like on Fey’s NBC show 30 Rock she seems to have been type casted for the role of Kate, as she plays a successful woman who shares an “interesting” relationship with a boss who is less than modest in his accomplishments.

Baby Mama is a perfect example of how chemistry between two leading roles can overcome straight acting talent. Along with a solid, and extremely humorous supporting cast such as Steve Martin and Sigourney Weaver Baby Mama can definitely walk on its own quickly after the movie’s opening crawls out of the gates.

Martin plays the quirky, hippy owner of the organic food company that Kate who has creates humorously awkward moments. Such as his reward to Kate for finding a perfect spot to open a flagship store in midtown Philadelphia is five minutes of “uninterrupted eye contact.”

Weaver’s character- who is not only the president of a surrogacy planning center, but also an extremely fertile woman herself- plays the object of Kate’s envy, being several years more advanced than Kate. Weaver’s portrayal of the extremely air-headed and whimsical Chaffee Bicknell is a delight to see. The fast quips between Bicknell and Kate are extremely pleasurable.

For what it brings to the table, Baby Mama is a comedy that everyone can enjoy. There are several scenes that could have played out as a skit on SNL, with a little more depth than just the string of one-line jokes the show has become known for. The overall message of the story doesn’t shy too far away from what you would expect from this movie, which does hinder the movie from bringing it to that next tier of pregnancy comedies that have become so popular lately (i.e. Knocked Up, and Juno.)

Skillet Fries Up the Coronado

Skillet and their cohorts fried up the stage at Rockford’s Coronado Theatre on Tuesday, April 1st.

Hot on the heels of the release of their fifth album, Comatose, the hard-rock band has been hitting the road with fellow rockers Decyfer Down and Thousand Foot Krutch as part of the promotional tour for their new CD.

The opening act- Decyfer Down- kicked off a high adrenaline show with several new songs from their upcoming yet-to-be-named album, then finished the set with songs from their debut album End of Grey.

As far as most opening bands go, Decyfer Down warmed up the still piling in crowd with their powerful lyrics and the hard to miss stage presence of their front man/bassist Caleb Oliver kept the audience on its feet with their hands waving. Songs like “Burn Back the Sun” and “Break Free” had new fans rushing the merchandising tables for CDs, and shirts.

The next group to perform was the Canadian rock quartet; Thousand Foot Krutch. Out in promotion of their new CD The Flame in All of Us, released in late 2007 the album has already been hailed by fans and media as the groups best CD to date. Playing the title tracks “The Flame in All of Us” and “My Own Enemy” along with several fan favorites such as “Rawkfist,” “Move” and the ballad “Breath You In” kept the fans screaming/singing along with lead vocalist Trevor McNevan all evening.

Breaking into the music industry in the late 90s the band has seen three of its five albums reach the top 100 in Billboard sales.

At one point during the set McNevan snuck off stage and ran into the audience with a search light that was segued by various audio clips from news reportings of school shootings beginning with Columbine’s tragedy and ending with the recent NIU shootings audio. The intimacy created by the song and the heartstrings that were tugged by the beginning tracks drew a somber hush over the previously roaring audience.

Finishing off their set with a few more songs from their new CD TFK filed off stage after a short curtain call.

Then in a single moment all the “Panheads” (fans of Skillet) erupted when the entire amphitheater went dark. With a single spotlight fading up on a cellist, on top of a stack of amplifiers, strumming the opening lines of the albums titled track “Comatose” with the band running onto the stage to kick off the beginning of their set.

Never being ones to deprive their fans of an entertaining show Skillet frontman John Cooper told the audience that he was “going to shut up and just play some rock and roll.” Which was followed by a set of songs that entailed an awesome light show and lots of fan interaction with high-fives being thrown out by all mobile members of the band-the drummer obviously couldn’t get up and give high-fives.

Having toured with bands like Breaking Benjamin, Saliva, Seether, Three Days Grace and Staind, Skillet has created a large fanbase, but remains loyal to their roots as an inspirational rock band. With songs like “Comatose,” “Whispers in the Dark,” “The Last Night” and “Rebirthing” offering new hope, instead of a lot of hard rock’s more prominent bands “emo,” self-pitying lyrics.

In her first tour with the band, Skillet’s newest drummer- 18 year-old, Jen Ledger- proved to be a great addition as she not only performed the songs flawlessly, but also came out from her behind her set to sing a solo and a duet with pianist/guitarist Korey Cooper (John’s wife) during the song “Yours to Hold.”

Originating as a Christian band and breaking into the mainstream airwaves with their album Collide has given the band a whole new market to share their style of rock and roll. The Tennessee natives have earned national recognition with songs like “Savior” and “Collide” from the 2003 hit album Collide.

Formed in the late 90s Skillet has seen several members come and go, but they have never stopped doing the two things that give them sold-out venues: always focus on the fans, and always write about hope and faith.

Having gone through several different sounds such as a style of techno/electronic rock, the group has adapted their music help them reach a group of young music lovers with their unique and personal lyrics.

As another way to get the fans more involved in the show, local radio station 101QFL was running a text message based contest where fans would text a specific word to a number and prizes would be issued to the 101st texter.

One of the prizes was a chance to hang out with opening band: Decyfer Down- along with QFL and band merchandise and the final contest that was announced during Skillet’s set which had a grand prize of two free week-long passes to the Cornerstone Music Festival in Bushnell, IL from June 30th- July 5th.

While the series of concerts and potential of winning the prizes in the texting “raffles” were well worth the admission price of $22 the merchandise was extremely overpriced at $30 for t-shirts and $50 for hoodies for all the bands.

The Comatose Tour will be concluding in Lancaster, PA on May, 11th. If you missed them this time around, you can trek down to see Skillet perform along with hundreds of other bands in Bushnell, IL on July, 2nd at the Cornerstone Music Festival.

To check out more on these bands you can check out their websites at DecyferDown.com, ThousandFootKrutch.com, TheFlameinAllofUs.com, Skillet.com or MySpace.com/SkilletMusic

"Leatherheads" Review

Grade: B

In 1925, college level football represented the pinnacle of fame a young athlete could ever want. Professional football was pure anarchy, with very few rules and even fewer fans.

In the George Clooney directed football comedy Leatherheads, the face of college football was Princeton star Carter "The Bullet" Rutherford (John Krasinski) - a speedy game breaker who took time out of his studies to serve in the Great War. While serving Rutherford became a war hero and awarded the Medal of Honor.

In the professional ranks, however, the face of the game was Jimmy "Dodge" Connolly. A man well past his prime, Connolly lived for the love of the game - albeit a dirty game - and gave the small fan base a reason for watching the rag-tag teams fumble around the field, making up rules on the spot. With pro football apparently on its deathbed, Connolly bargains with a Chicago hotel owner to invest in the Duluth Bulldogs and help bring the Bullet to the professional ranks by playing for the team and to become the face of the suddenly changing game.

Upon his arrival to pro football, Rutherford brings many new aspects to the game: new plays, new rules, and team curfews - much to the dismay of Dodge, who had "never played a clean game."

Leatherheads is not the comedy most would assume it to be as presented by the advertising campaign for the picture. Although there are many scenes with good laughs, the movie focuses primarily on the controversy of Rutherford's alleged heroism in France.

There are a lot of political undertones that have come to be expected from Clooney since his 2005 directoral debut; Good Night, and Good Luck. These undertones manage to work with simple camera work, amazing set and costume designs, and a stellar cast that includes Oscar winner- Renee Zellweger, Stephen Root and Wayne Duvall.

The sets, dialogue, music (composed by Randy Newman), and even body language takes you back to a believable Roaring 20s setting. The film features several montages accompanied only by Newman's score, whose jazzy musical styling flourishes in this period piece.

The chemistry between the two Oscar winners is undeniably electric. With their quick banter and the characters charisma Clooney and Zellweger pull off the romantic tension effortlessly.

Leatherheads is an enjoyable movie with a smooth storyline that does not complicate the continuity of the picture. With it's well above-average acting performances by all cast members Clooney's newest feature is well worth catching a weekend matenee.

Dr. Seuss' Horton Hears a Who!

Grade: B


Dr. Seuss’ classic children’s stories have seen quite a ride this decade. Beginning with two live-action movies. The Ron Howard directed Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, and, the not so successful Cat in the Hat starring Mike Myers. Now we see Dr. Seuss in a way never before: computer animation.

Starring the voice talents of Jim Carrey as the lovable and noble elephant Horton and Steve Carell as the Mayor of Who-ville. Dr. Seuss’ Horton Hears a Who! is a family film that everyone can truly enjoy. With clever dialogue and a script that will keep everyone entrenched in the story there is not much to dislike.

Horton inspects the Spec trying to find the voice he heard
When the tiny world of the Who’s gets knocked from its resting place on a sunflower the world, that’s as big as a spec of dust, floats aimlessly on the wind when the Jungle of Null’s resident elephant, Horton, hears a tiny yell from the passing spec. Not being one to let anyone/thing get hurt Horton saves the spec from certain doom by grabbing a pink clover and safely having the spec land onto it.

As readers of the classic children’s story should know: Horton’s befriending of a spec that he claims hold intelligent life is not a popular concept with the self-proclaimed leader of the Jungle of Null: Kangaroo (voiced by Carroll Burnette.)

Kangaroo begins to explain to Horton the dangers of imagination
Wanting the spec destroyed to preserve the innocence of the children of the Jungle, Kangaroo hires Vlad (Will Arnett,) the Vulture to do the job.

Throughout the movie there are several continuity errors that could pull some viewers out of the suspension of disbelief. Such as the “two known Vlads” that Horton knows. One of them being the Vulture and the other being a bunny who is known to bake chocolate chip cookies. There is also a gag of the Jungle dwellers not knowing what a bathroom is. If the Jungle has a way to make baked goods, it would stand to reason that they would have the concept of a bathroom.

Created by Blue Sky Studios- best known for their work on the Ice Age movies- the studio appears to be shortening the gap between Disney’s Pixar Studios and the rest of the competition with an amazing opening graphic of an odd looking acorn falling from a “Seuss”-looking tree and eventually knocking a spec from its spot in a flower and eventually landing on a clover picked by Horton.